As a sex hypnotherapist and relationship coach I have worked with many successful men - CEOs, leaders in their companies, business owners, public figures and entrepreneurs and I have seen first hand how sexual issues impact them on a physical, emotional, spiritual and mental level. Very often these men do not realise the real extent until we work together and resolve the sexual issue - as it is then they notice how they step back up in the world with a new found inner confidence, strength, masculinity and inner power and this has a direct positive impact in their work, communication, and leadership as well as in the bedroom!
For many men, the weight of carrying sexual issues (from premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and delayed ejaculation) rests heavy in their being. Often they feel deeply ashamed, embarrassed and try to hide it or refuse to talk openly about it with their partner. I have worked with men who are too anxious that they will not even consider starting a relationship as they fear how weak he will look if he can't sexually perform.
Men's sexual issues and dysfunctions have a devastating consequence on their lives, male identity, emotional and physical well-being. Today will I share the truth and reality that many men experience in their lives as a result of experiencing sexual performance issues.
Men's sexual issues and confidence
Sexual issues often cause men's confidence to skydive. For many men they see their roles in a sexual relationship as core as the focus is to please their partner sexually. If this doesn't happen or the partner is not sympathetic to what is happening (some women can be very cruel and brutal to their partners when he suffers from sexual issues) his confidence decreases. Often sexual anxiety replaces sexual confidence and then he begins to lose faith, trust and belief in himself. Sex becomes a focus of anxiety and pressure to perform and this causes a disconnection from his mind, body, and heart.
Men's sexual issues and masculinity
Sexual performance is essential to the male masculinity. In a time when women often no longer need men in the way we did hundreds and thousands of years before - women can now enter into high profile jobs, be financially independent, and even become pregnant without a male partner. So many men focus on sexually pleasing his partner - that is his intimate gift to her. When sexual issues get in the way he often feels emasculated and very much less of a man. This loss of masculine energy also has a direct influence on many other areas of his life - from work, confidence, leadership and communication.
Men's sexual issues and leadership
When who you are sexually is in conflict with the rest of you and your male identity (e.g., can’t get an erection, or ejaculate too soon) and perhaps you hold a senior role at work which involves leadership this impacts you on a deep conscious or unconscious level. It can change the way you lead others, deal with conflicts and communication authentically. Some men become more aggressive to hide what is happening other men tend to take a step back. It creates anxiety and fear about performance – not lonely in the bedroom but for some men in other areas of their life including leadership.
As one of my male client’s said “when I was leading a large team I wasn't authentic. I was terrified someone would find out about my weakness which was the sexual issues and the lack of my manhood. So I overcompensated and behaved more aggressively and confident which was verging on the tip of arrogance. When I resolved the sexual dysfunction I became a better leader and naturally confident”.
Men's sexual issues and communication
Following on from leadership, we move into how men's sexual issues impact how they communicate. Many of the men I have worked with, discovered that as their sexual confidence and ability increases their communication skills improves. They are more direct and more confident to deal with conflicts and issues within work team dynamics. They didn't notice they were hiding or stepping back from conflict or challenging group dynamics until after their sex life improved and they began to notice how naturally more willing they are to step up in all areas of communication and team dynamics.
Men's sexual issues and relationships
Relationships are essential to our emotional and physical well-being and intimacy is the glue which connects two people in ways other experiences can't. When sexual issues interfere with a couple's sex life it can either make or break them. The couple either comes together as a team to work through it or disconnect from each other and the sexual issue becomes the elephant in the room. For some men they may take a back seat in their relationships as they feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed they are not able to sexually perform.
Single men who experience sexual issues often feel anxious about starting a new relationship. Some of my clients even refused to look or talk to women in case it lead to sex as they felt so embarrassed and emasculated about the sexual issues. So they lived a lonely and very much disconnected life until they contacted me and we started working together and often within a few weeks they are dating again.
In my next blog I am going to share with you how to resolve sexual issues and be a better lover. I am very excited to share this with you!
If you know any men with sexual issues, or your partner experiences sexual issues please share this article with them. Let me know that them are not alone, that in fact many men experience sexual issues and that there is help available.
About Linda Connors
Linda Connors specialises men's sexual issues hypnotherapy and helps to not only resolve the sexual issue but reengage with life with more confidence, improved leadership skills, and more connected with their mind, body and heart. To find out more please visit men's sexual issues or call 075 3431 3557 for a confidential conversation.