The exclusive orgasm for some women really is an enigma. They have heard so much about it in movies, magazines and from friends and try so hard to fully experience it yet it is beyond their arm's reach.
Why is it so important for women to orgasm and why does the absence of orgasm cause so much frustration, embarrassment and concern?
Having an orgasm for women is a very pleasurable and sensual experience. There are two sides to women's orgasm. On one side is that experiencing an orgasm with a partner brings an added warmth, love and connection to the relationship. On the other side is that it releases sexual tensions. Women, like men, also build up sexual tension during the day and it's important to release this sexual tension and build up through sex or other activities. However for some women they simply do not know how to let go and release this sexual tension.
Conflict can also arise in a relationship when a woman is not able to orgasm. At times the man often tries harder to sexually please his partner and this puts more pressure on the woman to perform and have an orgasm. This creates more frustrations and pressure on the woman.
Part of men's identity and masculinity is based upon his ability to sexually please his partner and help her to orgasm. Most of the women I have worked with feel there must be something wrong with them because they are not able to have an orgasm and this lose their sense of confidence not only sexually but also in other areas of their life.
What's your orgasm story?
I have worked with women in their twenties up into their sixties, and they all have their own orgasm story and beliefs about themselves and sex.
Perhaps you have never had an orgasm, or you don't think you have as you feel something then it disappears. Or maybe you only orgasm occasionally, or through self-stimulation and self-pleasure and not in front of your partner
Do you feel you are missing out on something that other women can do and just want to feel normal and enjoy sex like everyone else?
I know many of my clients feel alone and embarrassed and that they are one of few women who are not able to orgasm but the truth is you are not alone - many women find it difficult to release and to let go on a mental, physical and emotional level.
Your body knows how to orgasm
The body actually knows how to orgasm. However, many women have trained their body to do the direct opposite. This is for many reasons - from cultural, religious upbringing, the stories women carry about themselves and their body, childhood trauma, not knowing how to let go and the fear of opening the heart to another person in this vulnerable sexual way.
The good news just as you have trained your body not to orgasm you can also retrain your body to function in the way it is designed to do sexually - to orgasm freely.
Intimate sexual relationships are meant to be fun, pleasurable, enjoyable, fun and the way to bring two people closer in a deep and meaningful way.
Different types of orgasms
Clitoral Orgasm - This is the most common orgasm women can experience. The clitoris is full of nerve endings which provide you with pleasure. The best way to experience a clitoral orgasm is through oral sex or masturbation. The clitoris is a very sensitive part of a women's body and requires a light and gentle touch.
G-Spot / Vaginal Orgasm - The g-spot orgasm is experienced within 1 to 2 inches inside the vaginal wall. It's experienced by stimulation either through sex or manual touch. The G-Spot requires a harder type of stimulation and can be very powerful.
There are of course other kinds of orgasm. However, the clitoral and g-spot / vaginal orgasm are the most common.
I hope this article gives you hope that regardless where you are on your sexual journey help is available to show you how to orgasm with confidence and freedom.
About Linda Connors
Linda Connors is Europe's Sex Hypnotherapist working with men and women to improve their sex life with confidence, freedom and fulfilment. Click here to find out more about the Orgasm Hypnotherapy Empowerment Programme with Linda or call 075 3421 3557 to speak to Linda directly.