How do you love your vagina? What is your relationship with your vagina? How do you love your vagina? How often do you think of her? How would you describe your relationship with this most intimate and sacred part of you?
Is she filled with shame? Do you disconnect from her? Avoid her? Do you close the door to the room of pleasure and desire?
Each vagina is unique and beautiful with their own characteristics, colour, shape and size.
I work with many women with orgasm issues or vaginismus who disown their vagina, think that it's ugly, disgusting, and close themselves off to this natural part of them. They attach stories to them "it's a funny shape" "It's ugly" "It's not normal".
When you disconnect from your vagina you are also disconnecting from a sacred and wild part of you. Wild not as in "crazy" but wild as so ancient and powerful as the strongest mountains.
How do you cultivate a loving and sacred relationship with your vagina? It's a journey of the mind, body, heart and spirit. For when you connect to this most beautiful part of you also connect with the wild goddess within.
Step 1 - Acceptance
The first step to cultivating a loving relationship with your vagina is acceptance. Accept how you feel about her. Write a list of 10 words to describe how you feel about your vagina. Then pause. Just breathe. Perhaps ugly or disgusting may be on your list. Sit in a non-judgement place of acceptance.
Step 2 - Write a letter to your vagina
Get out a pen and journal or notebook. Write free hand and let the words flow. Do not hold back. Be truthful here. What are you honest thoughts here? How do you truly feel about your vagina? What do you want her to know
Note: use hand writing with pen and paper rather than typing on screen as it is more engaging with your mind, body and heart.
Step 3 - Write a letter from your vagina to you
This time write a letter from your vagina to you. What does your vagina want you to know today? How does she feel being in the dark and shadows? How does she feel about being hidden for so long and disconnected from you? How does she want to express herself?
Again use handwriting rather than typing on screen.
Step 4 - Breathe into your vagina
Our breath is the most ancient and knowing part of us. Meditate and breathe into your vagina. Gentle breaths and nothing rushed.
Breathe in to your vagina - all the way through your heart, stomach until the breath meets your vagina.
Pause. Allow your breath to meet your vagina.
Release the breath.
Repeat as required.
Beware of the physical sensation of your breath meeting this ancient and sacred part of you.
Step 5 - A living question
A living questions is something that we give life and breath to. It's a form of meditation.
For five days, ask yourself what does my vagina want me to know today.
Example: one thing my vagina wants to know today is...…
When you start to love your vagina your life naturally changes. You open your heart, body and mind in a new and exciting ways. Your wild heart starts to have more presence upon this ancient landscape.
Have fun with these steps and be creative. As you learn how to love your vagina you also learn how to love yourself more deeply and wildly.