Articles and writing with Linda Connors
Following on from my previous article about how I overcame blushing and reclaimed my life back I want to share with you today how to overcome blushing through my three step process. Through my personal experience of chronic blushing in my 20s and early 30s, I know the full implications of blushing and how it can hold you back. I see it in my clients too. They live half a life and invest their energy into fear and anxiety about blushing - when they will blush, who they will blush in front of and what will other people think. Rather than moving ahead in life they are held back. Does this sound familiar?
Through these three steps you can start a new journey and reclaim your life back from blushing, connect with your potential and live fully and freely. When I blushed I tried counselling and therapy and nothing helped. These steps are the steps I took myself to stop blushing and I am so happy to share them with you.
Step 1 - Healing the shame and embarrassment of blushing
Underneath blushing, often beyond your conscious awareness, is shame. This shame is often associated with childhood family dynamics, experiences or events. Shame has a very physical manifestation as chemicals are released into the body when shame is experienced - you may feel warmer, anxious and blush. As an adult, you may not even be aware why your body is responding in this way. You go into a meeting, and it's your turn to speak and before you blink you feel your face going bright red.
The path to moving beyond blushing includes healing the wound of shame. Hypnotherapy can assist in healing the shame especially if this is all happening within your unconscious mind out of your conscious awareness.
Step 2 - Creating a growth mindset
When you are trapped in the blushing cycle, perhaps you notice you have a very fixed, critical and judgement mindset. "I can’t stop blushing”, “I am going to blush in this meeting” or "I will never be able to stop blushing". You put your whole energy and focus into these intrusive thoughts and this creates your reality and generates even more anxiety and fear.
To move out of the fixed mindset you must learn to step into the growth mindset which allows you to connect with your inner skills, resources and potential rather than focusing on the past. Rather than getting trapped in the fixed mindset of “I’m going to blush when….” The growth mindset allows you to focus on growth rather than limitations. Ask yourself coaching questions such as these:
The learner/growth mindset is about rational conscious choices and is solution focused. Ask yourself the above questions and notice what feels different in your body.
Step 3 - Changing the physical and emotional response to blushing
There are two elements to blushing. On one side is the physical conditioning of the body. The more it happens the more the body, skin and face responds to external triggers by blushing. On the other side of blushing is our inner world – which consists of thoughts, fears, restricting beliefs, previous experiences and anxiety.
Science has shown us that the body is an intellectual system and holds body memories. Dancers, athletics and even soldiers embody actions and movement into the body so it becomes a physically learnt behaviour. Blushing is very much similar. The more it happens the more the body embodies and embeds the blushing behaviour and it becomes the natural response to situations, experiences and events.
To undo this conditioning it’s essential to create a new physical and emotional response which embodies confidence, inner strength and calmness – and to practice this through a series of processes I have created based on science, mind and body connection and mindset.
Just take a moment to consider the above. What is the first step you can take today to begin to create changes in your life and becoming blush free?
About Linda Connors
Linda Connors is a Hypnotherapist and Coach offering Chronic Blushing therapy in London Harley Street, Bath and Skype.
Is blushing holding you back? You can change your life starting from today by contacting Linda on 075 3421 3557