Steps to change your response with anxiety

Begin to see anxiety as not something to fear but to learn, grow and develop from. 

As part of being human we have been gifted with the ability to feel and experience life fully. This mean we have an array of emotions from joy, happiness, fulfillment, love through to anger, depression and anxiety. 

In our “must have now” society many people are shutting themselves half down. They want to feel the joy and happiness of life but but don’t want to deal with the shadows of our existence. The emotions which lurk in the darkness.

But here’s the thing. To feel joy and happiness we must also learn to open the gates to the other emotions and that also includes anxiety. For when we attempt to hide, ignore or push away anxiety it will come back bigger and more intense. When we do this we are also blocking deeper levels of joy and happiness. 

Throughout my childhood until early thirties I experienced a lot of anxiety. The anxiety that is so overwhelming it feels like it was consuming my life. It was a very difficult time. I tried to ignore it. It came back stronger. I tried to argue with it however its voice became louder than mine. I tried to push it away it pushed back harder. It was relentless.

I tried counsellors and hypnotherapists nothing helped. Some wanted to mask the anxiety through tools and techniques. Others wanted to over analysis my childhood without the focus on the here and now. 

Then I discovered something new when I went to a meditation retreat in Scotland over ten years ago. It was so simply yet so very powerful.  Through acceptance I began to love myself and even the anxiety! 

Steps to overcome anxiety

Step 1 - Acceptance of anxiety

Anxiety is a natural part of our life. It is natural to feel anxious especially when we are stepping outside of our comfort zone.  When you begin to accept anxiety and stop fighting it is eases the inner conflict in your mind. By building a new relationship with anxiety also helps to stop the internal power struggle. Notice notice the difference between acceptance of anxiety over inner conflict.

Step 2 - Learn from anxiety

Your body has it’s own innate intelligence. It offers a way to communicate with you that goes beyond your conscious mind and thoughts. Sometimes anxiety is actually is letting you know that is something you need to let go off. To heal. To change your mind-set. To learn more about yourself.  The anxiety is the voice of your body that something is unresolved.  It’s giving you a clear message it’s time to resolve it. Learn to listen to it.

Step 3 - Growth mind-set

Your thoughts have a huge impact on your body. When you are stuck in the anxious mind-set you becomes fixed and stuck.  Know you can step out of this anxious mindset and into something more powerful. The growth mind-set. The growth mindset allows you to use learn and grow from experience as opposed to being stuck in a cycle of anxiety. 

Step 4 - you are not your anxiety

People use anxiety to form their identity.  An example of this is I’m an anxious person, or I’m too anxious to do that. You are not your anxiety. It’s something you experiencing.  It may feel like it is part of your personality but it’s not. You are so much more than anxiety. When you start to realise this you will begin see how small anxiety actually is

Step 5 Grow from anxiety

When you begin to see the anxiety as an opportunity to grow, develop it helps you become more of who you truly are.  When some of my clients first to see me they hid in their lives because they were afraid of anxiety. As a result they created a life style which kept them safe. They allowed anxiety to restrict who they are and how they showed up in the world. When you use this as an opportunity to grow and develop a whole new world emerges for you to live from. You will stop hiding and begin to allow yourself to show up more in the world. Just think for a moment the how much difference that will make in your life.

Step 6 - Move your body

At times anxiety is just an energy that gets stuck in your body so it’s essential to move your body. Walk, move your body, exercise and even dance! Just move. If you can’t get to a gym there are some excellent online fitness programmes. Movement helps the body to release the physical energy that has been stored up. . As humans we are not designed to sit in front of our laptops 8 hours a day. Move your body at every opportunity you get.

Step 7 Let anxiety flow

Anxiety at times just flows in and out of our lives. It’s not a lesson. It’s not an opportunity for growth. It is just there. Just let it flow in and out and soon it will be on its way. Sometimes I feel anxious as all humans do. Now rather than holding on it, fearing it and making it bigger I simply accept it’s there and allow it to flow through. Sometimes it’s a little messenger other times it is just flowing in and out.

Step 8 Take action

Now is the time to take action. Begin to live your life without anxiety holding you back. Show up more. Step up more. Use your voice and allow yourself be heard. Focus not on anxiety but how you want to live your life. 

Breaking free from anxiety

Do you now notice that breaking free from anxiety is actually not about anxiety.  It’s actually about you and your response to anxiety. Change truly comes from within. Through this change the anxiety will begin to change the way it shows up in your life.

This may take practice as the respond to anxiety has become habitual. But know you can change the way you respond to anxiety. As a result a new way will begin to emerge which will offer a new experience of life, deeper understanding of yourself, and greater more clarity and calmness .

I also suffered from anxiety

Linda Connors works with individuals in London Harley Street, the UK and across the globe helping them to live their life to the fullest. She has a unique understanding of the dynamics between the mind and body and how to tap into these to help people to live the life they truly want.

She suffered from anxiety from childhood until her mid thirties and now helps individuals to break free from anxiety and tap into who they truly are. For more information please call 07534213557.

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