Porn addiction is the modern day drug which impacts children, teenagers and men of all ages. We need to see the bigger picture and consequences of porn on our culture, society and on men's psyche.
We now live in a time where children and men have a 24 hour supply and access to porn when they want it. We need to start asking ourselves what society and culture have we created where a man wants to have sex with himself while watching two, or more, random people having sex on his screen.
It's much more than releasing sexual energy or getting off. There is an inner world and landscape of underlying urges, drives, chemicals in the brain, behaviours, psychology, and mental patterns that motivate men to continue to watch porn and become addicted.
Porn takes away more than it gives
But, here's the thing.
You may think porn is giving you sexual pleasure and release - it actually takes away more than it gives. Porn and Porn Addiction is more damaging than you ever thought possible.
You may even try to justify your porn viewing to yourself by saying these statements (which I have heard many times from men):
"I watch porn like everyone else", "It's now part of our society" "Everyone else watches it, so what's the problem?" "My friend watches more than me"
These lies you tell yourself are there to help you ignore the reality of your situation. They are to encourage your behaviour around porn. You may think watching porn is normal. It's not. It has a direct impact upon your brain, chemicals and sexual function.
Internet porn is a multi-billion industry and is designed in a way so you to keep coming back for more and more. It is also responsible for a huge sex slave trade.
The hard cold fact is that porn takes away more than it gives.
Porn takes away your sense of self
Porn takes away your sense of self. It blocks you from showing up in the world as your true self. It blocks your creativity and lust for life as you waste hours upon hours watching two or more random people having sex - anything from vanilla porn to hardcore porn.
Porn disconnects you from your soul, your purpose, vision, and sense of masculinity. It creates issues in relationships, sexual function and intimacy. It blocks your connection to your body and heart.
When men lose meaning, passion and purpose in their life they truly suffer. The world does too.
The world doesn't need more men who are lost, hiding from life through porn, with no sense of purpose, direction and vision. The world needs more men who have the courage to say no to porn and to show up in their true essence, in their vulnerability, their strengths, and masculinity.
My question to you today - are you willing to take the first step today and reclaim your life from porn? To reconnect to your sense of self and soul? To live with courage, purpose and vision? To give permission to be the man you are deep down in your heart and body? If so, you must be willing to stop watching porn today. Not tomorrow, or next week. Change starts today. Be the man you want to be.
Linda Connors is a porn addiction hypnotherapist and has helped men quit porn and say yes to life with courage, purpose and vision. You can find more about Linda's programme here: The Porn Addiction Recovery Programme or to book your appointment today call 075 3421 3557.
Christmas is a wonderful time of year for work colleagues, family and friends to come together, to have fun, give, and celebrate together. Although it is also a time for getting drunk, binge drinking and saying or doing things many deeply regret.
Alcohol is a social lubricant which binds many together and is the cultural lynchpin for many Christmas parties, social and family gatherings. It's a shortcut to confidence, overcoming social anxiety, relaxing and dealing with stress.
During my twenties and early thirties, I use to binge drink, particularly at the work christmas party. With promises to myself that wouldn't get drunk - I would be the last to leave the party. The next day I felt the walk of shame as I entered the office. What did I do? What did I say? Did I embarrass myself? The shame penetrated every part of my body.
Through my working history, many of many colleagues also binged on alcohol - some didn't show up for work and wasn't contactable by phone and the company called the police to ensure they were okay. Some got incredibly drunk in front of high profile clients and guests and were given warnings. Married colleagues cheated on their partners. Risky sexual interactions. Others got into fights.
Christmas is a time for a lot of fun but for many who binge drink it's a time for shame, embarrassment and many lost memories.
Here are five simple ways to stop binge drinking over the Christmas period (and beyond)
1- Recognise you have a problem with binge drinking
Take responsibility and acknowledge you have a problem with controlling how much you drink and binge drinking. This first step helps you get control back over your drinking habits. This isn't about blame it's about being honest with yourself so you can make the necessary changes.
2 - Understand your triggers for binge drinking
Work Christmas parties and family gatherings can be a stressful time for some. Start to figure out why you drink, what triggers it and what it gives you.
Is it a way to cope with stressful situations or emotional issues, an avenue to let your hair down or does it offer you a false sense of confidence?
3 - Do not drink on an empty stomach
Drinking on an empty stomach will get you drunk faster and increases the risks of binge drinking. Ensure you eat a full heavy meal before you consume your first drink.
This is often overlooked and when I speak to clients about their triggers for binge drinking as it often starts with "I was drinking on an empty stomach and then I lost control".
4 - Drink water between drinks
Drinking is not a race or a competition to see how much you can drink. Set a slower pace by drinking water between each drink and this helps do slow down your pace and allow you to make conscious decisions.
5 - Do not go into rounds
Do not go into rounds - even if it is a free bar. This enables you to drink at your own pace and not be pressured by yourself or others into drinking faster or consuming more.
Enjoy this special time of the year
With the right outlook and intentions you can begin to enjoy this magical time of the year. Set intentions and have fun responsibly without damaging your emotional well-being and reputation.
Ten years ago I stopped binge drinking and my life changed in ways I never imagined - I have more energy, control, focus and motivation. You can also create this change.
Do you have any tips to stop binge drinking? Please share and add them in the comment section below.
About Linda Connors
Linda Connors is Europe's Leading Sex Hypnotherapist who also works with habitual and addictive behaviours. Her private clinic is Harley Street London, Bath and online Skype.
Are you ready to stop binge drinking? If so you can start to make change by contacting Linda on 075 3421 3557.