Articles and writing with Linda Connors
The exclusive orgasm for some women really is an enigma. They have heard so much about it in movies, magazines and from friends and try so hard to fully experience it yet it is beyond their arm's reach.
Why is it so important for women to orgasm and why does the absence of orgasm cause so much frustration, embarrassment and concern?
Having an orgasm for women is a very pleasurable and sensual experience. There are two sides to women's orgasm. On one side is that experiencing an orgasm with a partner brings an added warmth, love and connection to the relationship. On the other side is that it releases sexual tensions. Women, like men, also build up sexual tension during the day and it's important to release this sexual tension and build up through sex or other activities. However for some women they simply do not know how to let go and release this sexual tension.
Conflict can also arise in a relationship when a woman is not able to orgasm. At times the man often tries harder to sexually please his partner and this puts more pressure on the woman to perform and have an orgasm. This creates more frustrations and pressure on the woman.
Part of men's identity and masculinity is based upon his ability to sexually please his partner and help her to orgasm. Most of the women I have worked with feel there must be something wrong with them because they are not able to have an orgasm and this lose their sense of confidence not only sexually but also in other areas of their life.
What's your orgasm story?
I have worked with women in their twenties up into their sixties, and they all have their own orgasm story and beliefs about themselves and sex.
Perhaps you have never had an orgasm, or you don't think you have as you feel something then it disappears. Or maybe you only orgasm occasionally, or through self-stimulation and self-pleasure and not in front of your partner
Do you feel you are missing out on something that other women can do and just want to feel normal and enjoy sex like everyone else?
I know many of my clients feel alone and embarrassed and that they are one of few women who are not able to orgasm but the truth is you are not alone - many women find it difficult to release and to let go on a mental, physical and emotional level.
Your body knows how to orgasm
The body actually knows how to orgasm. However, many women have trained their body to do the direct opposite. This is for many reasons - from cultural, religious upbringing, the stories women carry about themselves and their body, childhood trauma, not knowing how to let go and the fear of opening the heart to another person in this vulnerable sexual way.
The good news just as you have trained your body not to orgasm you can also retrain your body to function in the way it is designed to do sexually - to orgasm freely.
Intimate sexual relationships are meant to be fun, pleasurable, enjoyable, fun and the way to bring two people closer in a deep and meaningful way.
Different types of orgasms
Clitoral Orgasm - This is the most common orgasm women can experience. The clitoris is full of nerve endings which provide you with pleasure. The best way to experience a clitoral orgasm is through oral sex or masturbation. The clitoris is a very sensitive part of a women's body and requires a light and gentle touch.
G-Spot / Vaginal Orgasm - The g-spot orgasm is experienced within 1 to 2 inches inside the vaginal wall. It's experienced by stimulation either through sex or manual touch. The G-Spot requires a harder type of stimulation and can be very powerful.
There are of course other kinds of orgasm. However, the clitoral and g-spot / vaginal orgasm are the most common.
I hope this article gives you hope that regardless where you are on your sexual journey help is available to show you how to orgasm with confidence and freedom.
About Linda Connors
Linda Connors is Europe's Sex Hypnotherapist working with men and women to improve their sex life with confidence, freedom and fulfilment. Click here to find out more about the Orgasm Hypnotherapy Empowerment Programme with Linda or call 075 3421 3557 to speak to Linda directly.
Are you seeking what feels like the exclusive orgasm?
Perhaps you have never experienced an orgasm, or don't think you had one. Or perhaps you only have had orgasms occasionally, or only through self-stimulation and pleasure without your partner. Or maybe your orgasm never quite reaches its peak.
Rest assured you are not the only one.
Never underestimate the effect not being able to orgasm has on you. As Europe's Leading Sex Hypnotherapist, I have worked with many women who are not able to orgasm. Some of whom are very successful in their careers and hold leadership positions but feel like they are failing in the bedroom.
They often feel something is wrong with them, incomplete, ashamed or embarrassed that they are not able to enjoy what many others can - or see the unrealistic portrayal of sex and women's orgasms in movies. They want to enjoy it for themselves and their partners. However, something deep within the unconscious and physical level is holding them back.
Does this sound or feel familiar to you as well?
Not being able to orgasm is often very frustrating especially when you love sex and are very attractive to your partner.
There are many barriers, beliefs, cultural beliefs, blockages which stop you from having an orgasm to your full potential. Your relationship with your mind, body and heart also influences your enjoyment or sex, the ability to let go and sexually express yourself.
I want to share with you ten factors why you can't orgasm and the solutions:
1. Not sexually aroused
Solution: Explore and experiment in a fun and loving way with your partner. Have fun with foreplay. Read books to get ideas - the Karma Suta is a great starting point for new positions.
2. Do not know your own body and what turns you on
Solution: Self-pleasure and masturbation are healthy expressions of who you are as a woman and sexual human being. Let go of any guilt, embarrassment and shame you may feel and explore your body with curiosity, openness and fun. Discover what turns your on. Where you like to be touched. There are plenty of new products aimed at women and self-pleasure. Explore, have fun and enjoy!
3. You put too much pressure on yourself to orgasm
Solution: When you put too much pressure and focus on having an orgasm it builds up more frustration, stress and tension in the body. Sex is like life. It's not about the destination - it's about the journey. Enjoy each sexual moment and pleasure without any expectations of what may or not happen in five or ten minutes. Get out of your head and return back into your body.
4. You find it difficult to let go and give up control
Solution: Experiencing an orgasm either by yourself or with your partner requires the ability to fully let go - on a mind, body, physical, emotional and heart level. If you find it difficult to let go sexually, emotionally and physically during sex - sex hypnotherapy can help.
5. You find it difficult to communicate your sexual needs
Solution: Women often find it difficult to ask what they want especially around sex. Find your inner voice and share with your partner what you enjoy, what doesn't work and explore together to find new ways to receive and enjoy pleasure.
6. You fear intimacy or experience emotional issues
Solution: Fear of intimacy, emotional pain from abuse, anxiety, depression and stress or play a huge role in how you feel sexually about yourself. It has a huge impact on your physical body too. Sexual healing is fundamental in healing, recovering, and taking the first step forward to embracing your sexual empowerment.
7. Sex has become too routine or boring
Solution: Talk openly to your partner about your feelings. Use I statements rather than you statements. Invite him to share what he would like to experience too. Create space to talk - it's important to have this discussion when you are not in the bedroom or being sexual.
8. Sex is not the only way
Solution: The old saying "it's the journey not the destination that matters" rings true for orgasms. Sexual pleasure also comes from natural emotional highs, a deep sense of love and connection to your heart. A good sex life is connected to your attitude, relationship with body, and how open your mind, body and heart is. Explore and enjoy!
9. You are held back by unconscious inhibitions and beliefs about sex
Solution: Women carry a lot of cultural and emotional baggage around sex which is often passed down from one generation to the next. Be open with your partner about your fears and inhibitions as this makes the unconscious conscious.
Some inhibitions and beliefs about sex may be adamant due to culture, religious or conservative upbringing so you may find working with a sex hypnotherapist beneficial to heal and release these feelings and inhibitions.
Solution: Speak with your doctor as medical conditions or medication can cause some sexual issues. Therapy and hypnotherapy can still help but talk to your doctor first.
About Linda Connors
Linda is Europe's Leading Sex Hypnotherapist in London Harley Street, Bath and Skype and specialises in women's sexuality and sexual empowerment. She has created a 5 step system which helps women be sexually empowered to learn how to orgasm fully.
You can take the first step towards changing your life today by calling Linda on 075 3421 3557.
Christmas is a wonderful time of year for work colleagues, family and friends to come together, to have fun, give, and celebrate together. Although it is also a time for getting drunk, binge drinking and saying or doing things many deeply regret.
Alcohol is a social lubricant which binds many together and is the cultural lynchpin for many Christmas parties, social and family gatherings. It's a shortcut to confidence, overcoming social anxiety, relaxing and dealing with stress.
During my twenties and early thirties, I use to binge drink, particularly at the work christmas party. With promises to myself that wouldn't get drunk - I would be the last to leave the party. The next day I felt the walk of shame as I entered the office. What did I do? What did I say? Did I embarrass myself? The shame penetrated every part of my body.
Through my working history, many of many colleagues also binged on alcohol - some didn't show up for work and wasn't contactable by phone and the company called the police to ensure they were okay. Some got incredibly drunk in front of high profile clients and guests and were given warnings. Married colleagues cheated on their partners. Risky sexual interactions. Others got into fights.
Christmas is a time for a lot of fun but for many who binge drink it's a time for shame, embarrassment and many lost memories.
Here are five simple ways to stop binge drinking over the Christmas period (and beyond)
1- Recognise you have a problem with binge drinking
Take responsibility and acknowledge you have a problem with controlling how much you drink and binge drinking. This first step helps you get control back over your drinking habits. This isn't about blame it's about being honest with yourself so you can make the necessary changes.
2 - Understand your triggers for binge drinking
Work Christmas parties and family gatherings can be a stressful time for some. Start to figure out why you drink, what triggers it and what it gives you.
Is it a way to cope with stressful situations or emotional issues, an avenue to let your hair down or does it offer you a false sense of confidence?
3 - Do not drink on an empty stomach
Drinking on an empty stomach will get you drunk faster and increases the risks of binge drinking. Ensure you eat a full heavy meal before you consume your first drink.
This is often overlooked and when I speak to clients about their triggers for binge drinking as it often starts with "I was drinking on an empty stomach and then I lost control".
4 - Drink water between drinks
Drinking is not a race or a competition to see how much you can drink. Set a slower pace by drinking water between each drink and this helps do slow down your pace and allow you to make conscious decisions.
5 - Do not go into rounds
Do not go into rounds - even if it is a free bar. This enables you to drink at your own pace and not be pressured by yourself or others into drinking faster or consuming more.
Enjoy this special time of the year
With the right outlook and intentions you can begin to enjoy this magical time of the year. Set intentions and have fun responsibly without damaging your emotional well-being and reputation.
Ten years ago I stopped binge drinking and my life changed in ways I never imagined - I have more energy, control, focus and motivation. You can also create this change.
Do you have any tips to stop binge drinking? Please share and add them in the comment section below.
About Linda Connors
Linda Connors is Europe's Leading Sex Hypnotherapist who also works with habitual and addictive behaviours. Her private clinic is Harley Street London, Bath and online Skype.
Are you ready to stop binge drinking? If so you can start to make change by contacting Linda on 075 3421 3557.
If you suffer wtih sexual performance anxiety you know there is nothing more frustrating than worrying about your performance. It holds you back and has a massive impact on your sex life, how you feel as a man or women, levels of intimacy and connection in the relationship and your enjoyment of sex.
Men who experience sexual performance anxiety tend to focus on their performance, worry they won't please their partner, if they will ejaculation too soon or lose their erection. As a result, they experience high levels of stress and anxiety and are not able to enjoy the sexual experience because they are too focussed on their performance and anxiety.
Women tend to worry about how they look, distracted by their to-do lists, and how tired they will get. Many women also feel very anxious that sex will be painful, hurt or they can't let go to orgasm. As a result, they don't enjoy sex, are not entirely present, and some avoid having sex with their partner.
The main driving force of performance anxiety is the fear of what others will think of you if you fail to perform or live up to their expectations. You may fear your partner stops being sexually attractive to you, will leave, have an affair or stop seeing you as "real man" or "real women".
Sexual Performance Anxiety and worrying about performing badly in bed also creates a disconnection during sex. When you focus on performance it is tough to be 100% present with your partner, unite as a couple, be sexually confident, and enjoy sex as it blocks love, intimacy and connection.
I want to share with you a great three-minute video on the fear of performing badly in bed and what it takes to be a good partner. It's quite general but still worth while watching.
You are invited to the watch video and be aware of your own inner sexual fears and how you can turn these around to focus on how to enjoy sex to your full potential with passion, connection and fulfilment.
About Linda Connors
Linda Connors is Europe's Leading Sex Hypnotherapist with a private clinic in London Harley Street, Bath and also works online with Skype. She works with one to one with men, women and couples to resolve sexual issues and enhance their sex life with confidence, love, connection and enjoyment.
You can start having a better sex life today - the first step is to call Linda on 075 3421 3557.
There is often a misunderstanding of Hypnotherapy and how it can help improve your life. Many think hypnosis is restricted to fear of flying, stop smoking or weight loss. However, there has been significant advances in the field of hypnotherapy in recent years, and I want to share with you ten benefits of hypnotherapy and how it can help improve your life.
1. Hypnosis works directly with your unconscious mind
Have you ever wondered why do things automatically and out of your conscious awareness without any conscious input - using cocaine, hair pulling, having sexual issues or blushing? The answers live in your unconscious world.
By accessing your unconscious mind, you have the ability to change these behaviour patterns into a positive way of living your life.
2. Creates rapid and effective changes compared to traditional talking therapies
Hypnotherapy is a more rapid, productive and proactive way of working and it is just as caring and compassionate as traditional talking therapy.
Because hypnosis dives deep into the unconscious mind, you get the answers you want quickly, create deep inner change and new ways of living your life compared to traditional talking therapies.
3. Works with complex issues such as addictions and sexual issues
A few years ago hypnotherapy was restricted to fear of flying, weight loss and stop smoking. Today hypnosis is an effective treatment for addiction recovery (porn and cocaine) and sexual issues (premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, low sex drive and orgasm dysfunction).
Important Note: not every hypnotherapist is experienced or trained to work with sexual issues and addictions so it's essential to check their credentials.
4. Creates awareness, understanding and connects to innate wisdom
Hypnosis provides the platform to form a deeper understanding of why you do the things you do. It helps you to understand yourself, gain life-altering insights and connects to your innate wisdom. The advantage of this is that it helps to create life-long changes.
5. Changes inner programmes and behaviour habits
From the moment you were born your unconscious mind builds templates that programme you to behave in certain ways and creates the loop of habits. Hypnosis helps to change the internal programmes to build new behaviours and helps to stop the triggers from manifesting into physical or emotional behaviours and actions.
6. Builds inner resources and skills
Hypnotherapy helps to develop your essential life skills and resources for confidence, self-belief, enhance self-esteem, calmness and inner peace.
7. Builds a stronger mind, body and heart connection
Hypnotherapy helps to develop a mind, body and heart connection. This helps to align your mind, body and heart with your vision and goals and the life you want to live.
8. Heals deep wounds and psychological root causes
Each person experiences the wounds of shame, abandonment, betrayal at different levels. These wounds influence the life choices you make, your relationships and career decisions. Hypnotherapy provides an opportunity to heal these wounds so you experience more inner peace, freedom and confidence.
As hypnotherapy dives in deep to the unconscious mind it helps to locate the psychological root causes to heal and help you to move forward.
9. Opens the heart for more intimacy, love and connection
Hypnotherapy provides a bridge to your heart to heal the wounds which are blocking love, intimacy and connection. Hypnosis helps to open your heart, let go of fear and learn how to embrace love, intimacy and connection for stronger.
10. Helps you to live the life you want
Hypnosis is a proactive approach to creating change and massively improves your life, relationships and career. By combining the nine benefits above you will learn how to live the life you want with deeper love, intimacy, freedom, confidence and success.
About Linda Connors
Fear. A small four letter word yet it is a very powerful world. It influences how you live, the choices and decisions you make, and how you show up in the world. It holds you back from your full potential, your gifts, as well as sexually, love, relationship and career.
I want to share some beautiful, inspiring and powerful words about fear of the unknown from a Facebook page called Mosul Eye. His brave words touched my heart. A brave historian and blogger is risking his life to report what is happening in Mosul since IS invaded two years ago. Here the historian shares his thoughts of fear and how he tamed fear when he realised it was all in his head and his imagination - despite what was happening around him.
Read his inspirational words with an open heart and mind. I can never imagine living in such horrific circumstances where people are murdered, opposed and tortured. Even having a phone, sim card and using the internet means certain horrible and painful death - yet this brave soul is determined to share with the world what is happening in his city.
His words gives me hope for humanity and shows the potential and strength each person has despite what they may be going through - there is always another way to experience your life. I share these words to show that you no longer need to let fear hold you back. It no longer needs to repress you or limit your life in any way. Begin to see it for what it is. It's not real. When you begin to understand this your life will open up.
Please note: These words are translated from google. I didn't want to lose the power of his words so I have not changed any of the words or structure.
Maybe this will be the last quite night for my family, for me, for my loved ones, for the Mosulis. Maybe tonight is a decisive night for everything. Maybe every...thing comes after tonight will be beautiful and good, or maybe not. We will get rid of ISIL without a doubt. Yet, a lot is left that will need tremendous work that will take long years ahead to finish.
I hate this quietness so much; it reminds me of the quietness that took place before ISIL's storming into Mosul. It was a dusty day, a strange dust storm before it that dusted everything. People were running at every direction after a curfew was imposed on Mosul. It was on a Thursday. Everyone just rushed to their homes after the news of ISIL invading Samarraa.
That night was a defining night for everything. It was a "before and after" moment. I can never forget this night. I cannot forget the fear on everyone's face around me. I thought that a little child cannot comprehend his/her surroundings and do not know what fear is, and that his/her reaction to them is because of their unawareness. However, on that night, I saw fear was like a voracious beast in the eyes of children, and with every bullet that fires, this beast was growing bigger and bigger to devour me!
I can easily describe how fear looks, as a monster, with eyes look like big stones with sharp, tapered tips, as if they were to fall from a cliff over my head. I felt I was at the bottom of that valley and those eyes of this monster, that look like stones rushing off of the cliff trying to get me. They were very clear to me. Something was pushing them to fall over me. At those critical moments I was counting the moments from where they fall until they reach me, thinking of everything that I can do before those stones crush me and my family under them!
I was thinking how can I safe my family? who should I save first? and I faced a scary dilemma at that moment, should I save the children? should I save the elderly? My parents? or the pregnant one? What if I was not able to save anyone and the stones crush me under them? What kind of dilemma is this? If only those stones could buy me some time? but I was so sure they don't listen, nor they see, and no matter how much I scream, nothing will get in their way to stop them, or to delay them at least!
Those were the fear's eyes only! The rest of the monster's parts were like a trap where I was trapped and no room for me to escape, with arms extended towards me like hungry hyenas looking for their prey! Yet, what was bringing me a bit of relief is they were discussing how to eat me and who eats me first!
I used to walk down the streets with fear accompanying me with every step, just appears right before me with every single detail of it. I absurdly tried to run away as I'm walking down the streets of Mosul, then I realize I'm running of something invisible, and its all in my head. I tried to tell my friend that there are monsters waiting to eat me alive, but I hold myself from voicing those fears. I kept them to myself and didn't want anyone to know about them.
I have tried to tame this monster. Staring at him in the eye was very exhausting until I successfully tamed him. He became more calm, at least he stopped attacking me!
Linda Connors is a Harley Street Hypnotherapist and Coach working with individuals to move beyond fear and live with an inner freedom, peace and confidence.
Start living a better life today free from fear - call Linda on 075 3421 4557 or click on the button below.