In today's society we are taught that emotions, feelings and thoughts are either negative or positive. But have you ever thought that feelings, emotions and thoughts are simply neutral and impartial - it's our attachment, perception and how we respond to them that gives them their power and significance.
Stress is created when we have a heavy workload, personal responsibilities, too much on our minds, other people placing unrealistic damands on us, or we feel out of control. Not exercising, or having enough to do can at work, or in your personal life can also create stress.
Each person stress tolerance varies, what one person tolerates can be highly stressful for another. What you feel is determined not just events and experiences in your outside external world but how you preceive and respond to them.
At times you may not have the ability to change your circumstances, but you do have the capability of changing how you respond to these events and situations. You can reduce the impact of stress by becoming more conscious, aware, and understanding of what causes you stress, learning how to handle stress and implementing relaxation exercises into your life
Remember that a little stress is actually healthy for us and good for the body and mind, it helps us to get out of bed and be organised. Healthy stress needs to be short term and then followed with some relaxation or rest.
The first step towards stress management
You can do all the relaxation exercises in the world but if you also don't change your inner world the exericses will purley be fire fighting the stress.
The first step is towards acceptance of your situation, acceptance of how you feel and acceptance of your thoughts. Once you stop purging our energy into ignoring or fighting thoughts, feelings and situations just imagine how much energy you will have to focus on developing your skills, inner recourses, and awareness.
Linda Connors is a Stress Management Hypnotherapist and Counsellor specialising in helping people access and develop their inner resources and skills to help reduce the impact of stress in their lives. Appointments are available in London in Harley Street and Hampstead and via skype. To speak to Linda call +44 (0) 753 421 3557.
In my practice I see people who have been abused as children, sexually, emotionally or physically. They engage with me because they want to be healed and want to truly experience life at their own unique great potential.
There is so much writing that tells people they should not be a "victim" but a survivor. I am currently reading a book about healing from childhood sexual abuse and the word survivor keeps popping up over and over again. In the writing it feels like being a survivor is the final step, the goal to aim towards.
For some reason this word makes me feel uncomfortable because it seems like we are transferring one label "victim" to another "survivor" and it takes away the humanity, the human potential for growth and healing.
We can't change what has happened in the past, but by being a victim or being a survivor feels like there is a part still living in past, attached and unable to move forward.
Healing from sexual abuse is a journey, I see it as moving from being a victim, to being a survivor towards healing and growth, where the abuse no longer defines you.
I was seeing one of my clients, Richard, for a few months, he came to me because he was experiencing emotional and physical pain associated with sexual abuse he experienced as a child. During our time together he went on a inspirational journey towards healing, letting go and forgiveness. Sometimes it was difficult, emotional and challenging for him, but slowly he started to reconnect with himself, to become embodied with himself where he found acceptance, self-love and forgiveness.
After we finished working together Richard wanted to share his own personal healing and inspirational journey with others. To show others it is possible to change, heal and transform the pain to reconnect with yourself, and to find peace and balance in your life.
We can't change what has happened to us in the past, but we can stop being attached to labels, to pain, and memories.
As Richard said "I am no longer a victim of abuse, nor am I a survivor, I'm not even my job title or my name, I just am, and I am happy to be".
You can read Richard's full journey here: A clients journey - healing sexual abuse.
My name is Linda Connors and I am London Hypnotherapist and helping individuals heal in sexual abuse to transform pain into healing and personal growth.
Through hypnosis, mindfulness, EFT and coaching I provide a safe and inspirational space for you to come and heal to create the life you truly want.
I specialise in helping people to reconnect to themselves and bodies, to heal and create a healthy sexual relationships with intimacy and connection.
If you have experienced childhood abuse or rape in your adult life please contact me on +44 (0) 753 421 3557 to discover how you can start your own journey towards inner healing and balance.