When you have sex and if you are embodying and thinking one or more of these mindsets you will simply default back into sexual anxiety, low sexual confidence. This will trigger sexual issues and as a result shorten your sexual experience.
Trap 1. I Can't Perform
When you experience this mindset “I can’t perform” it causes more anxiety and stress. Perhaps it’s I am going to lose my erection or ejaculate too soon. These thoughts dominate the sexual experience.
Create space for a new belief to shine through. Make it realistic and what you can focus on such as. An example is “I am learning to control my physical reactions (ejaculation or erections)”.
When you have a ‘solution thinking mindset’ – and choose to focus 80% of your thoughts/words on solutions – you will not only be heading more speedily to long-term success, but you will immediately feel better in the moment. Karen Salmansohn
Trap 2. It's going to happen again
When you think it’s going to happen again you send a message down to your body and penis. This mindset cause a chain reaction which leads to the sexual problem.
One of the big challenges men face is to to stop focusing on the past and bring their awareness, breath and loving focus on this present moment. This does require a change of thinking patterns, focus and practice!
Your mindset matters. It affects everything – from the business and investment decisions you make, to the way you raise your children, to your stress levels and overall well-being. Peter Diamandis
Trap 3 - I can't sexually please my partner
This mindset trap of “I can’t sexually please my partner” brings a deep fear and insecurity of not able to sexual please your partner. Which ultimately leads to more anxiety, stress and sexual dysfunction. When you think this thought you become disconnect from your partner, and become hyper focused on your thoughts and penis. Remember sex is part pleasure. It is also also about connection and a way for a couple to truly get to know the other.
When men get caught in this mindset trap they lose the real connection of sex, intimacy and connection. So sex become a game of your performance and trying to get your partner to orgasm.
The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth. David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
Trap 4 - I am not a man
Many men think because they experience a sexual issue or sexual dysfunction they are not a man. They feel embarrassed about their lack of ability to last longer in bed and align this with their identity as a man. As a result this mindset trap unconsciously seeps into other areas of his life. Such as how he leads, deals with conflict and even how he responds when his friends are discussing sex.
Your sexual ability does not define your masculinity. However how you choose to grow, learn and develop from these experiences does.
The more comfortable men are with dealing with their own vulnerability and their own ideas of masculinity and feeling emasculated, the healthier they are. It’s a healthy thing to deal with. Ben Schnetzer
Your sexual issues does not define you
Men often align their sexual problem with their identity. It’s important to remember it is a physical behaviour and is not connected to who you are. Although it may seem like that.
I have worked with some men who put up with their sexual problems because they were too embarrassed or humiliated by it. Many of my clients say “Linda I wish I got help sooner”. “I can’t believe I let this continue for so long without sorting it out”. “I regret the last 20 years of my life but now I am ready to overcome this issue”.
Don’t wait too long to sort it out because you are missing on not just on sex, but also life, fun and enjoyment.
If you are ready to speak to me today about how I can help please call 075 3421 3557 or click on the button below.