What stops you from having an orgasm?

Are you seeking what feels like the exclusive orgasm?

Perhaps you have never experienced an orgasm. Maybe you only have had orgasms occasionally or only through self-stimulation.  Or does your orgasm quite never reaches its peak.

Rest assured you are not the only one.

Never underestimate the effect not being able to orgasm has on you. As the UK’s Leading Sex Hypnotherapist, I have worked with many women who are not able to orgasm. Some of whom are very successful in their careers and hold leadership positions but feel like they are failing in the bedroom.

The women I work with often feels that something is wrong with them. Feeling  ashamed or embarrassed because they are can’t enjoy what many others can. The unrealistic portrayal of sex and women’s orgasms in movies doesn’t help. They want to enjoy it for themselves and their partners. However, something deep within the unconscious and physical level is holding them back.

Does this sound familiar to you as well?

Not being able to orgasm is often very frustrating especially when you love sex and are very attractive to your partner.

There are many barriers, beliefs, cultural beliefs, blockages which stop you from having an orgasm to your full potential. Your relationship with your mind, body and heart also influences your enjoyment or sex, the ability to let go and sexually express yourself.

10 factors why you can't orgasm

1. Not sexually aroused

Solution: Explore and experiment in a fun and loving way with your partner. Have fun with foreplay. Read books to get ideas such as the Karma Suta because it is great starting point for new positions and adventure in the bedroom.

2. Do not know your own body and what turns you on

Solution: Self-pleasure and masturbation are healthy expressions of who you are as a woman and sexual human being. Learn to let go of any guilt, embarrassment and shame you may feel. Begin to explore your body with curiosity, openness and fun. Discover what turns you on. Where you like to be touched. There are plenty of new products aimed at women and self-pleasure. Explore, have fun and enjoy!

3. Too much pressure to orgasm

Solution: You, or your partner, puts too much pressure and focus on having an orgasm. This builds up more frustration, stress and tension in the body. Sex is like life. It’s not about the destination because it’s about the journey. Enjoy each sexual moment and pleasure without any expectations of what may or not happen. Get out of your head and return back into your body.

4. You find it difficult to let go and give up control

Solution: Experiencing an orgasm, whether it is by yourself or with your partner, requires the ability to fully let go. If you find it difficult to let go sexually, emotionally and physically in the bedroom hypnotherapy for sexual problems can .

5. It’s hard to communicate your sexual needs

Solution: Women often find it difficult to ask what they want especially in the bedroom. Find your courageous inner voice and discuss with your partner what you enjoy and what doesn’t work. Begin to explore together to find new ways to receive, enjoy pleasure and have more fun.

6. The of fear intimacy 

Solution: Fear of intimacy and emotional pain such as abuse, anxiety, depression and stress play a huge role in how you feel sexually about yourself. It has a huge impact on your physical body too. Sexual healing is fundamental in healing, recovering, and taking the first step forward to embracing your sexual empowerment.

7. Sex has become too routine or boring

Solution: If you are feeling flat in the bedroom because sex has come routine or boring it’s time to talk to your partner.  Be open to your partner about your feelings. Use I statements rather than you statements. Invite him to share what he would like to experience too. Create the space to talk honestly. It’s important to have this discussion when you are not in the bedroom or being sexual.

8. Sex is not the only way

Solution: The old saying “it’s the journey not the destination that matters” also rings true for orgasms. Sexual pleasure for women also comes from natural emotional highs, a deep sense of love and connection to your heart. A good sex life is connected to your attitude, relationship with body, and how open your mind, body and heart is. Explore and enjoy!

9. You are held back by unconscious sexual inhibitions and beliefs

Solution: Women carry a lot of cultural and emotional baggage around sex which is often passed down from one generation to the next. Be open with your partner about your fears and inhibitions because this makes the unconscious conscious.

Cultural, religious or conservative strict upbringing all cause inhibitions and beliefs about sex and who you are as a women. It’s helpful to work through these with a hypnotherapist to heal and release these feelings and inhibitions.

10.Medical conditions

Solution: Some medical conditions or meditation can cause sexual issues and the inability to orgasm. It’s important to speak with your doctor. Therapy and hypnotherapy can still help but talk to your doctor first.

What’s next for you?

After you have read this article, decide what steps you wish to take today. Learning how to orgasm isn’t just about having an orgasm because it is also about learning who you as women.

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