Linda's clients share their success and powerful transformation
Sexual Performance Anxiety
I first sought Linda's help to address a nagging anxiety around sexual performance that I had held most of my adult life. Issues that hadn't prevented me from being sexually active to degrees, nor to becoming a father, but that never-the-less ate away and undermined my sexuality, and at times could be totally paralysing.
However this set of fears and anxieties, presenting through my sexuality, were just the tip of the iceberg. How I was seeing myself sexually; as inadequate and likely to come up unable to perform in situations I perceived as pressured, also extended to my larger emotional, personal and professional life.
Linda compassionately and kindly worked with me to address and unravel this larger, complex web of related mental, emotional, and physical issues, of which my sexual identity was just one symptom. She helped me to be both more accepting of myself and my fears and doubts, and to become more confident, and indeed kinder to myself, with the therapeutic practices she guided me through.
A lot has changed in my life since undergoing the sessions with Linda. I won't say that I'm totally free from anxiety any more, as that would be a lie and perhaps unrealistic. Rather that I now feel more able to live with and manage moments of fear and doubt as they arise, and to still feel healthy, happy and connected to life and to those I love, and as a result better able to perform and act in ways that support, rather than undermine me.
Many of my old patterns have fallen away too, not just the fear of being unable to perform. I have begun to take more responsibility for my happiness, and well-being in all areas of my life; business, personal relationships as well as my sexuality. I feel more able to handle uncertainty and challenge as it arises, and more accepting of such difficulty, and self assured in ability to manage it. I feel more fulfilled, self aware and happy to be alive, and for this I cannot thank and recommend Linda enough. Aug 2017
Overcoming erectile dysfunction and improving sex life
Martin was experiencing sexual issues and erectile dysfunction in his marriage. He decided to contact me after he spoke to his Doctor which ruled out any medical or physical causes.
During the six sessions he began to understand how his previous experiences, fear of failure and thoughts were impacting his body and manifesting as erectile dysfunction.
During our last session Martin said: "I was quite sceptical about hypnotherapy but I am now amazed at how much I have changed working with you. I feel more present and grounded with my wife during sex and the anxious thoughts about my performance are no longer there. I stopped worrying about erections and now focus on my wife and having fun."
Erectile Dysfunction and being able to sexually perform
When I first came to Linda I was pretty much at rock bottom. For the previous 2 years I had been living with a secret that I was unable to perform sexually. This proved complicated on 2 fronts; firstly that it was seriously beginning to affect my relationship with my girlfriend of 2 years, and secondly that I was unable to go out on university nights due to the embarrassment I faced whenever the topic of sex came up in conversation.
After spending a year or so trying doctors to solve my problem I finally decided to get in touch with Linda, and from the very first session I knew I had made the right decision, giving me a confidence boosting exercise that would help me in the short term (I was about to go on holiday with my girlfriend to France so short term was initially the main priority!).
What happened next though completely changed things as my girlfriend decided to end our relationship. I came to Linda the next session in a complete state, having not eaten, worked or done exercise in days (as a serious sportsmen this is completely out of the normal!). Linda knew exactly what to do though, and the direction of our sessions straight away turned to boosting my confidence rather then the initial problem. Within the next few weeks Linda was perhaps the most important person in getting me back to myself, not only making me remember the person that I could be, but also giving me the tools to make sure I never forget this.
After about 5 sessions the transformation in my persona was so extreme that we decided we had done all we could do and that I should go and see how I get on.
Since then I have joined a sports society at university and am already seen as the sociable confident person I was in first year. Not only that, but I have since been 'home' with a girl after the last couple of nights out and for the first time been able to 'perform'. Overall this pretty much completes the journey I started with Linda, and having been at the bottom of my confidence just after a month ago am now feeling better than ever. For this I will forever be grateful to Linda, and will continue to use the exercises she gave me. Not only that, but to know there is someone there always to talk to when in need is something you can't put a value on.
A person's journey through therapy for sexual problems
Richard came to see me because he was in emotional pain associated with abuse he experienced as a child which impacted many areas of his adult life. He wanted to share his personal inspirational journey through the therapy process towards healing, change and transformations and how he reconnected with himself and to find peace and balance within himself.
He wanted to share his personal journey to give others hope - that no matter what you own experiences were, your childhood, your past relationships - you are the artist of your own life and everything you need is within you - sometimes people just need to be shown the way.
Finding I:- By Richard,
I used to think that life was tough, that life was a fight, that life wasn't fair, not just for me but for everybody, nothing you can do about it, its just the way the world is. Every encounter was a battle of wits to ensure I was on top, striving to present the external the image I created as the ideal me, the image that if only I could live up to, I would be fulfilled. People would see just how successful I am at life and at would be my true identity, 'more successful in life than you'. I used to tell myself when that day comes I will be truly happy, I will have overcome the adversity in the hand I was dealt.
I had my list; the house, the car, the job, the partner. I thought 'one day I will have it all'. I worked very hard and learnt discipline (I was a tough task master upon myself), I made sacrifices in the name of self improvement beating myself to be better than I am. I became strong, indestructible, successful, wealthy, admired, skillful, thin, good looking, desirable, popular, witty, intelligent and all the world could see it. I finally made it but I didn't understand why I felt dead inside.
The partner went, I couldn't make us happy. The house turned out to be just a place to live, somebody else had a bigger one just around the corner. The car went fast but got me from A to B in traffic. The job gave me status in a very small world. The ideal was attained, but fulfilment didn't come. Why wasn't I enough, my list complete but why did I feel so hollow, I was empty and lost. What more do I need to prove. I was so tired of the battle. My default solution was to write a new list, but I had ran out of ideas and energy for the fight. I had put my faith in the future, I had sacrificed my life to date for the hope that it gave, and felt betrayed by it, I didn't know how to do it all again. I felt dead inside.
I sought help and the questions came, I slowly started to unravel everything I believed to be true, bit by bit to understand how I ended up in this place.
I used to be guarded with an armour of learnt experience. I used to carry toxic anger for the things that happened to me when I was a child, anger locked up out of sight. I was still in mourning over what had been done 25 years later but unwilling to overcome my sorrow. I used to feel weak as I was powerless to control it, so i controlled every other aspect of my life. I used to feel like damaged goods, tainted with the dirt of history. I used to feel anxious about a future that took so much concentration to control, but unable to enjoy it when it came, as it didn't come. I used to be lonely and desperate to be accepted by others but was unable to let them in for fear of rejection. I used to think that I was what other people saw in me. I had been carrying this inside my shoulders for years. I had built a set of rules to live by, that I believed would validate my existence and in turn make me content. I was lost, a stranger to myself.
Bit by bit I let go, sometimes it was a release, sometimes it hurt like hell, sometimes it was scary and sometimes it felt like enlightenment, sometimes it was raw and sometimes it was beautiful, sometimes confusing and sometimes crystal clear. I let go of the sadness in my past and the anxiety in my future. The release was both physical and mental, emotion trapped inside my body for 2 decades hiding the being underneath.
As the layers fell away it became more and more obvious to me. I had been there all along, right there in the moment, never changing ever present, just hidden under layer upon layer of obsessive thoughts, obscured by a belief system based upon pain from the past and anxiety about the future. I was looking in totally the wrong place, I was searching for something I always had.
As the layers fell away I physically started to change, I became lighter. I started to inhabit my body once more and my aches and pains dissolved as the stale emotion was released. I felt whole. My senses started to work properly and I started to see, feel, hear and smell the world around me for the first time, my attention wrapped up in the future and past shifted to the now, I realised that all you really have is the moment you are in, and boy have I learnt to be in it. Not in a hedonistic way, I just see the abundance around me and it brings me joy, if you just look its absolutely amazing.
I feel secure, I feel peace and happiness but most of all I feel love, and it comes from deep within, not from outside yourself.
I smile to myself now when I look back (which is a seldom event). It all just seems so obvious to me now. I still have the job but I don't create battles any more, I still have the car but it doesn't define me, I still have the house and indeed it is warm and comfortable, but I don't think about the status attached, I still have the relationship but it is now with my true self, and I am still witty and popular but others perceptions don't occupy my mind.
I am no longer a victim of abuse, nor am I a survivor, I'm not even my job title or my name, I just am, and I am happy to be.
I meet with screen writer and actress Harley Nolan a couple of years ago who was also trained in singing, performing and stand-up comedy. Harley was nervous about a particular performance for a singing TV competition on SkyONE called Don't Stop Me Now as opera wasn't a style she was trained in. I met with Harley a few days before her performance and here is her story of our work together.
Having performed on stage all my life, I don't usually suffer from stage fright or nerves but this is a show with a major difference and I was performing in a style that I have never been trained in and didn't feel confident performing. As the filming date drew closer, I knew I needed help, so I turned to Linda Connors, Hypnotherapist and Life Coach.
I have never tried hypnotherapy before and had no idea what to expect, but I knew what I wanted to achieve; to have the confidence to be able to perform on stage to millions at home.
I met with Linda and she put me at ease straight away with her relaxed attitude and easy going manner. We talked through all my anxieties about the following days performance so she could tailor the hypnosis to my specific needs. We started off with some breathing techniques, which are perfect for slowing the heart rate down and keeping your body calm. This was followed by an exercise to ground myself so the feelings and thoughts of anxiety and fear were so overwhelming.
Then we did a combination of visualisation for how the next day's performance would go and hypnotherapy for giving me the confidence I needed. Linda talked me through how I could put all of these techniques and methods into play as I was waiting to perform, and I have to say I left feeling so much better and much more confident.
When it came round to the show, I did as she said; the breathing and grounding myself, when my name was called out to go on stage I felt the nerves but they were under control. And I delivered what was one of my most confident performances to date the proof was in the audience reaction; they went loved my performance.
I know for a fact that Linda’s techniques helped me that day and it’s something I will continue to use for all future performances. Because if the ability is within you, sometime you just need a helping hand with something like hypnosis to give you the confidence to get on stage in front of millions and show what you are made of. Harley Nonan, London
Moving Beyond the emotional impact of CFS
When I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) I was already in a downward spiral emotionally and physically – stressed and immensely frustrated/angry from a lack of understanding as to what was wrong and the limitations it had brought to my previously extremely active life. At 35 I was living life like an angry, emotional elderly lady!
I had 2 rounds of treatment with Linda and from the start, even just being able to discuss the impact that the CFS had had on my life and my emotions was a relief. At that time when I started, I was a little skeptical that I would ever be able to feel differently about the changes but felt I could benefit from discussing it with someone at length who wasn't a close relative or family member. I knew I needed support and help.
Over time, Linda started to make some suggestions about alternative ways of looking at the impact and how to start to slowly build certain activities back into my life and of course the existing elements that were still very positive.
We also started to work on some visualization techniques, with and without hypnosis, that enabled me to start to understand the frustrations/strong emotions that I was constantly experiencing and in turn, start to be able to deal with them.
After each session I would benefit from writing out on my phone what we had discussed and each technique so that I could practice them again in my own time. The hypnosis also helped these thought processes to become natural. I would feel a sense calm after each session and at times, even an excitement that I was moving into a new place in myself.
Linda would sometimes set me a task to work on between sessions such as analyzing the emotions, what would trigger them and how I strongly I felt it – all for discussion at the start of the next session.
At times I would leave a session feeling quite drained and emotional and other times I would have a sensation that a number of things had just “fallen into place”. But there was always the feeling that things were moving on, that I was a little more enlightened.
Linda’s approach was always very calm, kind, intelligent and intuitive.
I would say that the work that we did was very much a journey that was constantly evolving. I found myself physically and emotionally becoming stronger again and finding the peace I so desperately sought. This continued even after we stopped the sessions and I am now back to living a life without extreme emotion and that is having a beneficial effect on the physical symptoms themselves. I feel happy and at peace and am back to living life to the full without feeling frustrated.
After a break, I went to Linda again for some further hypnotherapy sessions with specific reference to emotional overeating (another common behavior with CFS). Perhaps because of the trust that we had built up over time and the fascinating techniques she used, we very quickly reached a point where this issue has all but disappeared - I am calmer around and no longer have the pattern of behaviour which had led to binge eating. I've even lost nearly a stone as a result!
Overcoming fear to have a blood test
Adrian came to see me as he needed to have a blood test and the previous attempts of having a blood test were not successful as he experienced anxiety and his veins retracted. After three sessions Adrian sent me a text to let me know how he got on.
Hi Linda, Adrian Here. You did not pick up so wanted to let you know I had a successful blood test and much less stressful. Still not 100% but much much better and the wall of fear is now so much smaller. Thank you so much! Adrian, London,
Breaking free from blushing and stepping into confidence
I was feeling very anxious and quite depressed when I decided to contact Linda after a suggestion from a friend. From the first appointment she made me feel at ease and helped me to understand how my thoughts impacted how I felt and what was causing the anxiety and blushing.
My life and thoughts use to evolve around blushing and I was feeling very anxious and depressed. Blushing about 5 to 10 times a day my career was at a standstill and social life was suffering.
Now, thoughts of blushing no longer occupy my thoughts, and more importantly I no longer blush! My work and personal life has benefited so much from the sessions as well. After putting myself forward for projects and becoming much more vocal in meetings and I was recently offered a promotion. Oh, and I have recently started a new wonderful relationship after being single for 5 years!
What Linda offers has really changed my life. I had counselling before, but nothing like this transformational work - it really is a gift. The tools and exercises we went through also helped a great deal and I loved the mindfulness exercises which only takes about 10 minutes a day which makes it easy to fit into my busy life.
My last appointment with Linda was about 7-8 months ago, and although we only worked together for six sessions - and it was the most transformational six weeks I have ever experienced (and i have tried different types of therapy).
Stop Smoking into making a happy u-turn in life
Hello Linda It's been a long while I think of sending you an Email but it's never the right moment..... I have stopped smoking for 2 months now and i feel so good and proud of myself!!! It's one of the best thing that has happened in my life recently... many thanks again for your "work" on me, I remember the session very well and will remember it as a very happy moment and U-turn. Many thanks once again Rebecca, London
Linda Connors - Europe's Leading London Hypnotherapy and Confidence Coach for stressed out executives
For professional men, women and couples serious about creating an amazing life, improved sex life and relationship, Linda is their go-to London Hypnotherapist (and Skype) to discover how to make the necessary changes to live a life of freedom, joy and happiness.
London W1 Hypnotherapy in Harley Street and Bath in Somerset. Online Skype Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching and Sex Hypnotherapy Programmes are available across the UK and Channel Island (Jersey and Guernsey) , Europe, America (USA), Australia, Africa and United Arab Emirates (Dubai and Abu Dhabi)
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