Articles and writing with Linda Connors
Our sexual identity is complex. Both men and women carry baggage from social and culture beliefs, childhood experiences and trauma, mind-set and thoughts, anxiety and fear and our internal programming.
As humans beings we experience life on many different levels and this includes sex - through our mind, body, heart and spirit.
Men and women sexuality are both different and need to be addressed and worked on differently. When men and women experience sexual issues they often get stuck on one or two of the levels - and sex becomes unbalanced and confidence, fulfilment and enjoyment are reduced.
When men experiences sexual issues (erection issues, early ejaculation, delayed ejaculation or sexual anxiety) often get stuck in their thoughts. Thoughts such as I won't be able to perform. I can't please my partner. She is going to leave me. They focus on their thoughts and what their penis is or isn't doing - and disconnect from their partner. The anxiety in the body can feel very strong and contribute to the sexual issues. This has a direct impact their sexual performance, sexual confidence, male identity and masculinity.
When women experiences sexual issues (Vaginismus, orgasm issues, low sex drive, low sexual confidence/anxiety) the levels of mind, body and heart are impacted. Their thoughts may include I won't be able to have sex. I can't orgasm. It's going to hurt. The female body can find it difficult to let go, relax or be open on a physical level especially if they fear sex or feel like they are missing out on something.. Some women feel very vulnerable opening their hearts based upon trust issues, low self esteem and fear. This has a direct impact on how women feel about themselves, their relationship with their body and vagina, sexual confidence and femininity.
Alignment of mind, body, heart and spirit (masculinity / femininity)
As a result - both men and women's experience of sex is often unbalanced and they don't enjoy or feel fulfilled because of this.
This is why it's fundamental when addressing your sexual issues and creating change it's so important to working with the levels of mind, body, heart and spirit. To bring balance to each part of the aspects of you who are. To align this with your goals, aspirations, sexual energy, masculine / feminine energy, hopes and desires as well as creating solutions for the sexual issues.