As a hypnotherapist and coach one of the areas I specialise in is helping individuals and couples overcome intimacy problems which are impacting their relationship. Intimacy is a word often misunderstood - many believe that intimacy is confined to having sex or making love. Intimacy often involves sex, but it doesn't mean sex and sex is not the only place for intimacy.
In my experience over the years, a fear of intimacy causes relationship and sexual issues. For some people somewhere in the depth of the unconsciousness mind there is a part which fears intimacy, fearing rejection, love or abandonment due to past relationships, childhood issues or lack of confidence and self esteem. The fear of intimacy placing a wall or barrier to restrict the energy of love and intimacy.
What is intimacy
Real intimacy is the result of how we present ourselves to other people - whether they are lovers, partners, friends and family. To show ourselves as we truly are - without any facade, unguarded, undefended, authentic and to be emotionally open with the ability to show our vulnerable side.
Intimacy in a relationship is about being emotionally close to your partner, it's a dance of give and receive. You are able to share how you really feel, and you are able to receive your partner's feelings
Intimacy goes beyond the physical and is an expression of love, not just for your partner but also yourself.
Why is intimacy important
Each person has six important and fundamental aspects in our lives - mind, body, physical, social, emotional and spiritual. Each aspect is created to work together in harmony towards a loving and intimate relationship.
However, in today's society, intimacy becomes a fast physical act of instant pleasure and gratification. The mind, body, social, emotional and spiritual parts become disconnected, and the search for intimacy flows from one relationship to another looking for deep intimacy in disguised for sex.
Without intimacy we are disconnected from our source of love, ourselves and relationships.
Steps to help build intimacy
Take time out for you
The most important first step is to build and develop a relationship with yourself. This helps to reconnect with your mind, body and spirit.
Take time out each day - even 10 to 15 minutes can be powerful, and just breathe, connect with your body and your feelings.
By first being compassionate with yourself you can then be compassionate and understanding to others. Be aware of your inner voice - how does it speak to you - is it critical? with judgement? Or is it with love and compassion? How does your inner voice impact how you communicate with others?
Connect with your heart
Connecting with your heart at an emotional level involves sharing and being open to yourself and the other person. Share ideas, thoughts, laugh and have fun together.
Connect with your spirit
Connecting with yourself and your partner on a spiritual level involves encouraging and supporting each other through personal growth. It means supporting each other's path to help yourself and your partner to connect with your highest self.
Overcome your blocks to intimacy
Each person has their own inner journey towards intimacy, for some it may feel like they are climbing a mountain, each step is overcoming a barrier, a fear or issue, each step is heading towards the top. For others it's just a natural flow of life.
As a counsellor and hypnotherapist I work with people to reconnect intimately with themselves and others to experience their life and love at their greatest innate capacity.
Whatever your journey is towards intimacy - embrace it with your heart, mind and spirit.
Intimacy is an expression of love for yourself and for others. Each person has the capacity to create loving intimacy relationships - sometimes we just need to re-learn what we were taught in childhood.
If you would like to speak to me, or share your thoughts please add your comments to the blog or please call 075 3421 3557 to speak to me directly.
For further information on intimacy please visit and hypnotherapy and coaching for fear of intimacy.
Stay connected with Linda sign up to her newsletter: http://www.lindaconnors.co.uk/newsletter-subscription.html
Linda Connors - Europe's Leading Sex Hypnotherapy and Confidence Coach - London Harley Street
For professional men, women and couples serious about creating an amazing life, improved sex life and relationship, Linda is their go-to Sex Hypnotherapist to discover how to make the necessary changes to live a life of freedom, joy and happiness.