Articles and writing with Linda Connors
We are entering a time where many boys, teenagers and men are confused about what it means to be a man. Years ago there were rites and rituals which supporting the teenager into become a man. It was an important time in a teenagers life - he was supported by role models of older men around him - who guided him during the transformation from boy to man.
What is it to be a man?
Have you ever asked yourself this question? What it means to be a man?
The role of the man was once to protect, pro-create and provide. We are in a time where women have as much rights and women and are gradually earning the same as men. On one level women no longer need to be provided or protected for. On another level some women still yearn for this - even though they are capable of doing this for themselves.
Many of today's teenagers and young access have direct access to porn - and this is having an impact on how theses young people view themselves, sex and women. They have a warped view of masculinity based upon domination and power.
What does it mean to be a man? How do you use your strength, leaderships, inner power and abilities for your own good, family, work and society good?
How men can strengthen their masculinity
Men's time - In our would of busyness - many men have forgotten the importance and need to have men's time with their friends. Partner's, families, and work take so much time and there is little left. Priotise your time and when needed dedicated to having time and fun with your male friends - without a female in sight!
Strengthen and develop your abilities - assertiveness, direction, direction, masculine energy, solution focussed, decision makers, motivation. If for whatever reason your current job will not allow you to develop these areas get some outside interests which will. Rock climbing, hiking, rowing, men's groups, etc.
Let go of the fear of the macho masculinity image - Some of male clients are worried about stepping into their full masculine energy - that they may appear macho, dominate and too powerful. That's not masculine - that's about control!
Purpose - Your purpose in life is an important aspect of how you are as a man. Focus on it and live it each day. When you lose your way return back to your purpose to refocus on your life.
The world is waiting for you to step up - our society is waiting for you to step up. In a time where we are do not have strong leaders - we are waiting for you. To be directive, strong, make decisions, and lead - from a place of heart rather than ego.
How to lean into your edge as a man
To grow into your masculinity it's vital that you step out of your comfort zone and lean into you edge - that which may feel uncomfortable, difficult or hard. Do this constantly. You feel unsure, lose your confidence, or fear but keep going. Fear is simply a sign you are stepping out of the comfort zone.
By leaning into your edge you challenge yourself - this is important for growth and development.
Find out more
To find out more about Linda's work with male sexual issues and masculinity call +44 (0) 753 421 3557. Sessions are available through Skype, London Harley Street and Skype.
As a society we have forgotten the ability to return back to our own body. To centre and ground ourselves. To be able to listen to our own wisdom and intelligence of our heart.
Many of us are out of balance and sync with out body for we give our full attention to our mind yet forget the rest of our being - our hearts and body. This has a huge impact on how we experience we each day. Our communication style, relationships, sex life and work.
I wanted to share with you a simple yet beautiful and powerful meditation which I often share with my clients. Some of my clients say "Linda, I can't meditate as I can't stop thinking". This meditation works by using your mind to back to your body and heart to experience being centred and grounded.
There is part that is many people that is waiting to be discovered, but there many beliefs, walls, blocks, judgements, stories, sexual issues, fear of intimacy, relationship issues, conditioning which is blocking its passage. So it remains unlived, hidden, repressed and unexpressed.
The unlived sex life
Who you are sexually naturally has an influence on the rest of your life. If you show up to the experience of sex with fears, insecurities, feeling inadequate, numb, anxious, worried or repressed - this energy will naturally flow to other areas of your life - as you are carrying it around. It may even begin to form part of your identity.
When the people I work start to tap into the unlived sex life from within and begin to experience sex on a totally new level they notice things begin to change. As they feel more whole and connected to themselves they feel calmer at work. More confident with talking to others. Have more clarity, understanding and openness. It's as through the repressed aspect has been released and they no longer have anything to hide - to themselves or others. That's true freedom.
Express your sexual side
To fully express who you are sexually to yourself and your partner can take great courage for some, especially when if you are carry the baggage of past relationships, religious dogma, society, cultural beliefs, family dynamics and stories of how you should behave based upon if you are male or female.
To take they journey of full sexual expression is a journey of the mind, body and heart. It's a journey of letting go, learning and retraining your mind, heart and body.
To fully be comfortable with who you are sexually in a gift to yourself and allows you to experience full inner freedom.
It's a strong title but there is an element of truth in it. Sexual anxiety for men is the death of sex and it's all created in the mind. Let me explain.
Just imagine for a moment you are getting romantic and intimate with your partner. It looks like things are leading to sex. Your heart starts to race not from being aroused but from panic. The panic leads to anxious thoughts. What if I can't get perform, ejaculate too soon, or get can't an erection or maintain it.
Your attention, connection and focus is no longer on your sexual partner - but on your own thoughts and what your penis doing. This may feel like it's helping you. But it's not.
The mind and body connection
The mind and body connection is an important part of sex. If you don't know how to use it to your benefit it will let you down again and again. Imagine there is a line that runs from your mind to your penis. The anxious thoughts sends a direct message to your penis. Your penis responds to these thoughts and panic by ejaculation too soon or losing your erection.
How to keep sex alive
To keep sex alive it's vital you know how to work with mind and body connection - without this knowledge you will simply keep repeating this pattern over and over again.
Here are six tips to keep sex alive:
To find out more how Linda can help you to keep your sex life alive, build strong mind and body connections and find solutions to your sexual problems please call +44 (0) 753 4321 3557 or visit
sexual anxiety for men.